Flashlight

by Autumn Leaves   Dec 21, 2012


You are able to read me without the
use of light. You look inside of me without
giving me a drug to lessen the pain.

You have examined me and found
every defect, you have kept accurate
records to remind me why I have lost
your respect.

Why do you persist on flashing your
lights upon my weaknesses? Yes your piercing
eyes have awakened my broken conscience.

At your reproof tears fill the lids of
my brown eyes and I start to crumble.

You make me see my failures and you
keep account of my many mistakes.
Yes your eyes have condemned and
because of my sins your self-righteousness
has allowed you to throw me away.

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Latest Comments

  • 11 years ago

    by Marcy Lewis

    Ah! Double posts. I'm so sorry!

  • 11 years ago

    by Marcy Lewis

    I love this poem. It's incredibly relatable for many people. It could be about a lover, parent, friend, outsider of any kind. Either way, we feel at some point, there is always that person who never fails to make you feel like total crap about yourself.

    "You make me see my failures and you
    keep account of my many mistakes. "

    ^ This makes me want to swoop in and save the speaker. It elicits a sympathetic feeling, and it's such a hurtful two lines.

    Gorgeous write!

  • 11 years ago

    by Autumn Leaves

    Thank you:)

  • 11 years ago

    by Khalid M Darwish

    Nice metaphor and similes you gave over here. The use of light and darkness is appropriate in my opinion. Some tenses have to be rechecked like "have awaken" and "has allow" which I think should be "have awakened" and "has allowed". I loved your in writing your thoughts in a nice simple flow, it's attractive.
    Great piece.

  • 11 years ago

    by DeafBeats

    "Why do you persist on flashing your
    lights upon my weakness? Yes your piercing
    eyes have awaken my broken conscience."

    ^^^
    I think these are one of your most powerful lines because there is a source of hurt here. And no ones like to have our weaknesses revealed or poked at.

    "You have examined me and found
    every defect, you have kept accurate
    record to remind me that I could be voided
    like a bad check."

    ^^^
    This started off strong but the use of "like a bad check" made the stanza sound less serious. It made the meaning less deep if I may say.

    "Yes your eyes have condemned and
    because of my sins your self-righteousness
    has allow you to throw me away."

    ^^^
    Another strong line. People always trying to find a reason to do something horrible but still feel okay about it because they live by certain rules.

    :] Thanks for sharing xxx

    • 11 years ago

      by Autumn Leaves

      Thank you for your comment and I have edited this poem. I am always ready to make improvements and I want this poem to be meaningful because it's the way I felt. Thanks again.

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