Comments : Disappearing Ink ( collab )

  • 12 years ago

    by ah satan 666

    Here's my spin on it...

    "A shooting star flashes brightly across
    the midnight sky above me.
    I whisper a wish for it to carry
    through the distance that keeps up apart.
    It has been so long without the touch
    of your warm arms embracing me,
    as our fingers once interlocked together
    and remained as one solid unity."

    ^^the heartache of missing the heart that once made you whole... All the little things you took for granted, yet it set them apart from the rest... But what you'd give to have the chance once more... Wishing that the bright rock that falls to earth from the sky, was your rock coming back home... To your arms.

    "I whisper a wish for it to carry
    through the distance that keeps [ up ] apart."

    ^^ typo... I think that should be "us"

    "My memory has imprisoned your smile
    while engraving your name in my heart.
    Your touch more delicate than air,
    gliding across my body.
    How I would give all my time on this earth
    to look into your eyes one final time,
    showing you how it was meant to be.
    To tell you "I love you"."

    ^^now this is very dreamy.
    Lost in your own little world, your memory reverses time to when you were together... Like a dvd playing.
    You see the uplifting smile that always brightened your day, an enchanting touch... so soft, air feels jagged to the skin compared to their touch... Their eyes, the windows to their soul... And that soul has made a home in your heart for eternity. You didn't need the words "I love you" because they knew but you'd give anything to say those words to them.

    "My eyes delve deep into the words
    which are spread across ageing paper,
    your declaration of love for me
    which would never come to an end.
    As my lonely tears fall, drop by drop,
    turning each letter into an ebony blur,
    I cannot comfort my breaking heart
    as it watches your ink fade away."

    ^^the imagery here is very sad indeed.
    As the years go by, you cling to the last remains of your lover... The loving words they showered upon you in writing... As the overwhelming thoughts of them that once made you smile so... Drives deep into your aching heart until your tears shower their love letters,.. their words of the heart bleed ink... Mirroring your heart that bleeds of sorrow.

    "Over time my memories have started to fade
    along with your name that is stained on to my forearm.
    Every morning I see it disappearing,
    trying to erase you.
    If only they could know that
    ink may disappear over time
    but the memories we shared are still not complete
    and so they cannot become the past."

    ^^over time our memories are like a chinese whisper... The more time passes, the facts fade away... Leaving their image discoloured, barely detectable... As time destroys all clarity, like an old faded tattoo.
    Your lives together had only just begun and now your gone,.. how do I put you in my past, when what seems like five minutes ago... You were my future.

    "I wished upon that shooting star,
    hoping it would turn back time
    and bring you back to me."

    ^^If only the fallen rock was mine and you were home.

    Guys this is a very sad beautiful write,
    I think it should be in lost love personally but either or... Great collaboration!!
    Looking forward to some more :D <3

    Hope my interpretation was okay, I'm not a massive fan of posting them.

  • 11 years ago

    by myonlymoon

    I'm not sure why more didn't comment on this! This is simply beautiful. The imagery is fantastic and plays on emotions we are all familiar with. This is a classic, smooth, well-written piece. Good job you two!!! 5/5