Comments : The Collector

  • 11 years ago

    by Tara Kay

    This is powerful Yaki, you are worth everything, you are worth all the attention in the world, and don't ever settle for being second best to anything, you don't deserve that.

    This piece just tore me, because I know how you struggle with how you look and you have insecurities, god knows we all do, but just love the flaws, love every little part of you.

    -one small error, in stanza three, you have repeated the word "something", seems to be a typo-

    this piece was just deep and moving, well penned sweets.

    Love ya
    x

  • 11 years ago

    by Amreen

    This is a thoughtful piece. Right that we all have insecurities on ourselves when it comes to love. It really affects us sometimes, but love shouldnt be based on that and you conveyed that thought and message strongly here.
    Well penned piece:)

  • 11 years ago

    by Tara Kay

    Congratulations girl! Loved this piece, it really deserved the win!!

    • 11 years ago

      by Yakari Gabriel

      My pleasure sharing the front page with you! muaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

  • 11 years ago

    by kavitha jesson

    Wow.............superb.....words...................touched my heart............

  • 11 years ago

    by Joanna Ramirez

    Good job

  • 11 years ago

    by DeafBeats

    Beautiful :]

  • 11 years ago

    by Meena Krish

    We give our all to love just to see that we are been put last and made worthless and it takes a whole lot to turn around to see yourself and learn to like yourself..that is when we realize how much that person has made us to hate ourself and that is not love..a very sentimental write. Congrats on the win..

  • 11 years ago

    by PAUL HEWSON

    A love half given .. thats deep , admiration to you for seeing yourself . a bueatiful poem

    5/5

  • 11 years ago

    by Jenni Marie

    "This was one of those rare pieces that both made me tear up and smile throughout it. The way the author starts out with how she collected things really made me ponder on that opening stanza, and it made me think on how so many of us think that we have so many flaws, how we have so many personality or appearance traits that we don't like, that maybe we even hate. And the ironic thing is I imagine all those things that we wish we could change or that we wish didn't affect us is something that not many, if any at all, other people even see in us. It made me think on how we are always our own worst critic.

    Given the first few stanzas started of with such a negative tone, I was expecting the following to become even more emotional, filled with more sadness and with more self doubt. So the last line in the third stanza succeeded in throwing me a little as it held so much more promise and hope than the previous ones did. It made me smile and stop and think, wait a minute, maybe she is starting to realise she really isn't as bad as she thought she was originally.

    The second half of this gave me hope. It made me think if one person can begin to realise this, surely others can too. We're always worth so much more than we give ourselves credit for and so many times we just accept the things that others do when what we should actually be doing is standing up and defending ourselves and saying, you know what? I AM worth more than that, I do deserve more than what you are giving me and I'm not going to stand for this any longer.

    Yaki, as always you succeed in really pulling your readers in and making them think, and allowing them to emphasise with you and what you are feeling. And as always, you manage to do it so beautifully."

    :)

  • 11 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    [Weekly Contest Comment: 12/31/12]

    This piece touched me beyond words, but I'll say I felt in a sense this was a coming-of-age moment...this realization, and putting it into permanent ink, that this poet and their heart are both on the same page: a love should not be accepted unless it is given, 100 percent given. This was a beautiful message to me. Be the leading lady of your own life- that was in the movie "The Holiday" and this poet's words remind me of this- I believe it can take certain people and circumstances where we are the ones being used or the ones being placed under for us to come to understand. It's the time to move on. I also admire the maturity of this write- how the poet writes about in the beginning collecting all the things of this person, the reminders of their perfection, yet that is in the past. This poet uniquely shows their struggle with insecurities and the feeling here is beyond meaningful. Good work.

  • 11 years ago

    by Angie

    (Weekly Contest Comment - 12/31/12)

    Yaki, you have written on a subject that so many people can relate to, myself included, "insecurities"... we look at others and wish we were like them... we don't feel comfortable in our own skin. We build walls around ourselves because of it and it chases people away, and we lose all respect for ourselves, that's what I feel when reading the first few stanzas... then you realize while looking back on this relationship, that you have actually learned a lot about yourself and that you are beautiful, you are YOU and you sure do not need anyone who is going to put you in the background... you ARE worthy Yaki and this write is so inspirational to me as it will be to others as they read it. We all have our own little issues and we need to learn to live with them and make the best of them and this write is proof that it can be done. This write really touches my heart, I love the title and the flow was perfect. Well done (4)

  • 8 years ago

    by Dancing Rivers

    WOW!!! I do believe this was the first poem of I've read of yours, and I have to say that I was truly blown away, by the incredible emotion and vivid imagery that you have drenched this poem with, what an incredibly enticing piece from the title " collecting" so simple, so straightforward but it leaves one thinking, pondering, what could you be collecting, then as curiosity garbs me I realize, I am reading my story through someone Else's eyes, someone Else's heart and mind.

    What a brilliant piece wow!!!