Defeat & Despair

With heavy eye-lids,
with sleepy eyes;
Unable to memorise
a 300-page book by my side,
I think about those happy times.
When studying was fun.
When I was wise.
When words memorised
would stay long in my mind.
Fresh to recall.
Easy to find.
Certificates, awards, that sound of applause;
I miss it so much.
I miss it because
it used to give me pleasure.
It used to make me strong.
Where am i now?
Please tell me how
i fell so deep?
I feel so lost.
Those certificates - torn,
the glistening of the awards - gone,
time taunts,
this silence haunts.
So many problems.
No one to share.
I have even stopped
giving a care.
Now a victim
of Defeat & Despair.
Life kept giving opportunities;
I kept wasting them.
Now my destination is in sight;
But the 'hope of reaching it'
has already left.