Sleep doesn't come easily

This was such a sad poem. The emotions in this are so raw. I can feel how exhausted these emotions are making you, because they're always there. No escape. It's so frustrating when you can't escape from thoughts. They truly do haunt you. Great poem.

This poem totally hit home to how I'm feeling right now...

Like a mist descending upon me
Thoughts I can't see through suffocate me
They come with the night
With the darkness

^^ I can relate to that haze of suffocation from thoughts. Critique: The use of me and with is a bit much, I think it would flow better if you didn't say me twice or with twice so close together. Like you could say something along the lines of "They come in the night, with darkness." or something. (Totally just an opinion (: )

When I wake they are still there
The darkness is still there
The thoughts still suffocate me
I wait for the light

^^ Critique: Again the use of repeating words reduces the flow, saying still there could be replaced with repeat or something along those lines.

Thoughts of you
Creep through my veins
Deep within me
Inside it feels like ice
Yet warm tears run down my face

^^I love this: creep through my veins- such a cool description. This stanza is great!

I sleep with thoughts of you
I dream and you are there

^^ I like the ending, the thought that this person is always on your mind. It's sweet, even though it hurts in a way.

As a whole, I really enjoyed this poem. The thoughts behind it and emotion are very intense and real. I hope my critique can help, I hope it doesn't sound at all harsh for that isn't intended, just some thoughts (:

Sleep doesn't come easily when you are thinking of him ( or this person).
You think of him yet he finds a way to get to your dreams still. Love right?

Good piece.

This is a great write, I also like the usage of ice in this poem. When you really care about someone you can easily envision them in your dreams and etc.

Good write.

Deep and lovely. The emotions are so intense here. I like the mention of ice and warmth.
Good piece(: