Comments : Not Giving Up [Senryu]

  • 11 years ago

    by L

    I've waited for you -
    Until my shadow whispered
    "I'm tired to stand more"

    Okay, this is in past and so it doesn't fit with the title..

    The title says not giving up yet the content shows the opposite.

    I will wait for you
    until my shadow whispers
    "the light is too strong"

    Just kidding

    Not giving up

    I will wait for you
    Until my shadow whispers
    I'll detach from you.

    Or

    I will wait for you
    Until my shadow whispers
    "I'm tired to stand more"

    • 11 years ago

      by Khalid M Darwish

      Hahahaha!! You draw a broad smile on my face!! You always win and I still am a chicken in front of you, I know. I think your 3rd suggested version works better of all. Thank you honey for help, I'm much glad.

    • 11 years ago

      by Khalid M Darwish

      Hahahaha!! You draw a broad smile on my face!! You always win and I still am a chicken in front of you, I know. I think your 3rd suggested version works better of all. Thank you honey for help, I'm much glad.