Isolation

This is such a powerful write and I think you have captured the state of mind and emotion perfectly. I know I could relate to it and feel every word as I read it.

You paint a clear scene of what it is like, from waking up until it is time to go to sleep again and yet nothing seems to be inbetween the two except this lonely feeling and it over powers all the rest of emotions we have.

I like the inclusion of the crow, cros can represent omens and darkness and here you have portrayed this by implying they are just waiting for you to crumble, they are waitin to destroy you because they know you can no longer cope with this feeling that is destroying you. also, I got a very disturbing image as crows are known for pecking eyes out of dead things and so with your last line it made me think of this.

I also took the crow to be a metaphor for the emotion of isolation itself, because it begins slowly and then before we know it it becomes deep inside of us and we can not escape it, it feels like a bully who will not give in util it has took every single drop of everything we have left.

eventually you will stop
caring....

- I think this line holds amamazing power in itself because this is the point of depression which comes from isolation, the point where the darkness consumes us.

Brillant work. I enjoyed this.

I will speak for the pnq world and this piece is professionally written. A subject so overly discussed and printed; played, like a love song in February but has never been consumed as well as you have. In the poem, there is a person isolated, and the reader is allowed to take on the agent's perspective and to also see the whole event from a bird's eye view. So one comes to empathize, sympathize, and to understand what this isolation is all about. One of the little yet valuable aims of poetry... I still need to comment and offer suggestions though, but these are just my subjective opinions and need not be forced to use to alter this already terrific work:

You will look out your window
and observe a scene you are
familiar with...

Loneliness!

perched on the telephone lines
like a crow waiting to scavenge
the last morsel of your being....

^ I'm thinking of taking out "Loneliness" because it drives off the tone of the poem that already feels as somber as the topic. It's as if the reader is forced to scream out in pain, which isn't necessary, or is overdoing it. And to make the ending more "at home" with "isolation" I suggest this slight revision:

"You will look out your window
and observe a scene you so familiar...

perched on the clotheslines
like a crow waiting to scavenge
the last morsel of your being....

^ the ending is like a slow death, and I prefer clotheslines because the view of it just seems more lonesome. A crow perched on a telephone line subliminally states "communication" which rejects isolation. Having clotheslines outside ones windows instead of a welcoming view seems sadder, not to mention the crow on it.

So with that, you can also change the entry of the poem:

"Isolation is when you wake up before dawn
with someone else's dream on your tongue
and you can't swallow."

^ this helps paint a clearer picture for the ending, so when the agent looks out the window, one could think dawn is just breaking, and while the day is just waking, the person is slowly being eaten up. It's good parallelism= world is living, person so isolated seems dying.

That would be it actually. Not fan of the "..." ellipsis should only have three dots though... but it comes by taste.

Great work.

I don't think isolation could have been more beautifully described. there isn't anything to say about this. Its too perfect.

"wake up
with someone else's dream on your tongue"

damn.

Wow Hellon!
This is beyond brilliant.
The way you described loneliness and defeat, breathtaking.
Such a powerful pen my friend.
Xxx