I actually quite enjoyed it. The simplicity gave it some edge, some meaning, as opposed to a drawn out poem that takes forever to express this meaning.

I see where you went with this in trying to repeat the same thing in a different way for the second lines.

I think it worked ( for me ) except the last line because dont turn back and dont look back are the same thing, so I wonder if you could change just the last line to use the same word back, but make it to mean different. Perhaps something to do with their back as this is what you would be looking at when they walk away. ? Just an idea.

Well done