As I chase down the moving light as a cat would chase the mouse,
<I think in my opinion change the as a cat to like a cat because at the first of the line you already have as and the repition is not needed.

I love how its like a dream but a darker reality. Its almost like your chasing something thats hidden in your subconsious. Your stanzas are good and the flow is amazing.
Details are my favorite and you perfected it in your own style.
<creature slowly creeping towards me

Over all I truly thank you for sharing this

Okay this is really cool poem daughter! it started out until the middle it reminded me of Peter Pan if you read the book or seen the movie lol anyways i really like how you went from one thing to another yet it still held on to the poem perfectly my dear daughter!!! 5/5

Queen Ash
Your Mommy forever and beyond!

Okay this is really cool poem daughter! it started out until the middle it reminded me of Peter Pan if you read the book or seen the movie lol anyways i really like how you went from one thing to another yet it still held on to the poem perfectly my dear daughter!!! 5/5

Queen Ash
Your Mommy forever and beyond!

Beautiful written.