Nothing left here

End it. Please end it now. I cry and plea everyday for someone to come save what I once was. I wish to be the person I was once At a time. I swear my life can not suffer much more. I've grown tired of arguing, fighting, the stress to live. I wish to help but all I do is hurt. I question how much my decaying of a soul and spirit can take. I have ran this life's to its final point. It feels like as if I am a beaten horse, pouring blood on the hot desert sand. Running with no water, no food, no rest. I feel as if it would be best to lay In wait for fate to decide. Decide weather to die from exhaustion, or find myself once more and finally get to live once again. I apologize to all for what I am, who Ive become, what I have done. I have paid my dues over and over again. Just please accept my sorrows, as I never meant to hurt any. I wish to never hurt again. I have given up on whatever may happen to myself. I only stay to look out and protect those I love. I see now that is not possible. Yet I still possibly hope, out of all this pain and suffering, I change a persons life for the better. Yet when shall my purpose show its face to me. Show me my life isn't a waste. Show that I'm still sane and I'm on the path i was destined for. I scream for it to show. I scream for help. As I thought maybe I was being heard, I was fooled to see what could never be yet again. I must retrain my heart to be strong and cover what I truly am. I know it will be difficult. But I also know I am very capable of it. I have mastered it once before. I stand here fearing not what shall happen to me but what shall become of my people. So is it yet possible to end it just yet? What must I do first? It has been Proven plenty that I can never be saved. I have fought that bitter sweet truth time and time again. But I now see its time to accept it. It shall never get easier, nor better for me. It hurts to breath, or even look around this world I have never been accepted in. There is nothing left for me here, that I have been proven for far to long