Rough Drafts

Absolutely love!

The story was consistent, and wording was tricky! I felt a sense of respect for writer as to what they wanted to say say! Sometimes that's not always recognized though. :(

I liked it a lot!

This absolutely blew me away girl. The ending was amazing. The whole poem incredible!! The way this is written, the metaphors you used were brilliant. I love the wording. Brilliant!!

Danika.

Chelsey, this piece is very well written, its simple and holds much truth, an eye opening piece here.
How you say that you hide behind words, we all do, and sometimes our finished poems are full of misconceptions and fancy words but the true art is in the rough drafts, and scribbles when not much makes sense

Awesome piece, and great job again x

They say writers have a way with words. I wish I could prove how
many times I've jotted down a sentence about you and erased it.
How my words formed tornados and destroyed every house my
thoughts lived in. How I just couldn't say what was on my mind-
writers block and tongue tied.

- I could tell straight away I was going to like this poem. I really like where you have went with this and in this first stanza you have showed that although we might get an end result with the poem, it is not always an easy job and often involves a lot of rough copies and edits until it seems right. I find this happens to me especially when it is something close to me and I really want to express it - the words just run away!! I thought it was a great description to open the poem with and set the plot of what was on your mind writing this. I especially like the turnado and the house of your thoughts, paints a very clear image of destruction.

I'm sure I could dance around the truth and describe my desires
to be like waves crashing against each other, the way I wish to
be with your body. I suppose I could say I want to be the reminder
of how beautiful you are when clouds cast shadows on your petals-
metaphors and similes.

- this was so beautiful here, the way you show us a little bit of this person and how the seem beautiful even through darkness and their flaws, you see the beauty. It was great imagery here with the waves crashing and expressing this as being together with this person.

It just doesn't seem right sometimes. To dress up my feelings in
cashmere and silky descriptions that slide right by what I truly
want to make known. It doesn't seem right to confuse you with
poetic analogies to avoid the obvious, the reality of my heart-
hopeful and dreaming

- I really get this! Like the feelings are just too strong and deep that they just need to be shown for exactly what they are without being made into "poetic language" for them to try and digest. Sometimes what we feel is powerful enough just as it comes out. This also explains your previous stanza about " dancing around the truth " and how you could easily use metaphors etc to describe your desires but you want this person to understand them clear without getting confused by your meaning.

There's only one way to solve this, one way to make you realize
I can't always say what's on my mind. The captivity that you
have me caged in gets the best of me and fragmented pages
lay at the foot of my trashcan. I think it's time to show you-
rough drafts and doodles.

- I think you ended it perfectly, you decide to just let the first draughts be known and seen and understood for what they were as they came out. Pure and simple truth. I get a clear image of all the torn up pieces of paper or scrumpled up, lying around your trashcan, it shows how many attempts you have made but non of them were right for you. Then after all, they may be just what was meant to be said.

I really enjoyed this and the message of it, you can feel the strength and love in the relationship even though it is not mentioned directly in the poem.

Nice work.