Just a... "kid"

U say im just a kid, yet ive been through enough for 3 different lifes. U say i got plenty to look forward to, theres nothing good ahead when liveing in hell. U say u understand what im goin threw, u dont know a thing about who or what i am. U say im stupid, yet i dont say a word when it comes to anything. U say im blind, i have seen more then i could ever speak of and i still have more to come..... Yet it hurts day by day just to have a slight smile on my face, so none shall think im dead yet... but ive been gone for decades on end and its far to late for me to turn back.... so see who ud like to see.. make who ud like to create. no one has ever seen the real me and thats how id like it to be... yet i still dont know if i have turned to regret who ive become and what ive done... sorry has become far not enough to say anymore, nothin seems to ever be good enough. u all wish to see me fade more and more. yet to everyone, ive already disappeared long ago. ive grown to tired, to weak, to fight to be seen or heard anymore... i may just be a "kid" yet ive felt the pain of a non ending life over and over again. im sorry but im far to gone for help or healing anymore from any. i feel myself growing colder and colder as the days drag on... there is no return, there is no help, no heal, no way back