Nova

[Weekly Contest Comment: 1/21/13]

The pain in this poem is so tangible. I felt mystery and a depth of sadness that cannot easily be mimicked. The scene stood out in its rawness to me, this person naked on the streets yet in a crude state, as if you have become so fed up with all around you, you physically become sick. This was an intriguing write but was overwhelmed with sadness. The poet did a fantastic job with the flow and imagery, and going deeper into an almost longing to not be at this verge of death. That hopelessness at the end, and the seemingly impossibility at a taste of love. Incredible creativity here. This place and this person leave an imprint.

This piece fully deserves 10 points, It is written extremely well and tells a great story. The message underlined is really sad. There is fantastic word use throughout with clever scatterings of alliteration.
The scene is set very well in stanza 1. It sounds idyllic yet the tone used proves otherwise, then as each stanza hits you the poem gets darker and the message louder. Finally we are faced with a serious of questions that leave the reader wondering. Very well written, I really cannot say much more. (For the purists I am aware there is one spelling mistake and the use of a minor swearword)

Your poem made me think of a carnivalizing poetics for its grotesque realism since its essential principle is degradation. But on the other hand the title led me to reflect on Nova - a cataclysmic nuclear explosion. Both are intriguing because they allude to chaos creating a new cosmos especially when it refers to blood and other body fluids - "the curb deluged in filth/my mouth doused in vomit/body of urine and spit/and eyes coated in shit" - which are linked to not only to death but also to renewal - "Here comes the feeling/the burning need within/to peel off my skin / shred it and feed it/ to the empty bowels /of the planet." Your choice of words is "down-to-earth and again it is explicit it is a carnivalized text. Besides, the writer side-steps the sentimentality -" Oh why do I/ swallow these endless /tragic deaths /without having/ my tongue heap/for even the pettiest/ trimmings of love?/So impassable and vamp / so supple.../yet fleeting.", showing the necessary detachment so common in literary pieces of this kind. Your poem portrays a moment of separation and if I am not correct, forgive me. However, the lyrical I seems to be either numb before the fact or used to "swallow these endless tragic deaths". Besides, if the piece really refers to a separation, it shows that the relationship was already in decomposition -" to detachment/ two phantom hands are severed". Poems like yours lend themselves to many interpretations and make the reader stop and think for a while. I applaud you. Excellent piece!

Very dark peom. Very creepy peom. Very difficult 2 interpret. But Very very Very impressive. Nice work

Yes! Congrats on the well deserve win!