We Are Deer

This picnic table holds my weeping
and I must have disturbed their meal
with my sobs. With lifted necks, three
little deer cast their gaze on me-
frozen, we all were.

- I liked being able to picture the scene from the beginning and could imagine the moment as you both make eye contact and freeze as you study each other and perhaps wonder who will be the first to make a move.

My thoughts traveled to an unrealistic
place. "We are deer." Feeding on the
only land we know of, walking the same
paths always traveled, shivering in the cold-
surviving the season.

- i love how you compare a deer's life to our own and the same way we face each day with the same things and when it is tough, all we can do is survive through it and wait for the better times.

Our skin outlines our ribs because our
tongues are filmed with the same taste
we've always eaten. Filling us none. Our
life revolves around the same familiar woods-
pacing the same route.

- again you have carried on the comparison here but it made me think of how we let things stay the same and in reality they will not change unless we do something that will make that change.

But, alas! The sight of spring peaks through
the brittle branches and berries begin to bud
on bushes. A better life blossoms and awaits
us. We chase it. Follow the trail to warmth-
deer can be dreamers too.

- hopeful ending, I like the better season coming into it and somehow this makes everything brighter and the flowers begint o come alive again as does perhaps your heart.

Great idea for a poem and I enjoyed the read. xx

You took me to there... to the scene with deer.. and I love the comparison to humans vs the deer.... this is beautiful!

This was such a heartwarming read, I found such peace once done reading it! There's this hymn my piano teacher once told me about called "As The Deer", and it's beautiful just instrumentally but the lyrics are about the journey of life and God's presence in it. This reminded me of that. Being at a place of serenity. I like how you mentioned how everyone is surviving, 'cause we are all struggling, but we must look ahead.

WOW! What a beautiful metaphor; I didn't want this poem to end! This could easily become an epic or a short story. Great job!

This sounded like a story with a happy ending. When I read the title I thought it said "we are dear" and towards the end I ended up realizing that "we are dear." There is always a better thing ahead even if we don't see it.

Though, I have to admit that at second read.. I don't quiet find the happy ending. Deers are dreamers too... it's seems it's just a dream and who knows what's up ahead.

a twist?

however, a good piece.