Black and Amber

by Colm   Jan 20, 2013


You share the amber of fields of barley
with a glance of your eyes, alluring as
the ring on the finger of a hobbit
who is hiding in a field of maize.
I was something I could never see in them.

Like electricity, hot and white-golden,
your abstraction did a little to belittle
the industrial space surrounding you -
the attention of the industrial worker in me
became a little less industrious.

But the island in your iris,
the nothing of a sugar ring doughnut,
was opaque as the one-way mirror
of an interrogation chamber.
It was the blackest of black holes to me.

***
Written for first round of Everlasting's Simulacrum contest.

Rules: Write a free style poem base on the picture found in the link below.
Must be less than 20 lines
Must include 3 similes.

http://www.layoutsparks.com/1/23245/Abstract-eye-golden-shining.htm

    report violation
0


Did You Like This Poem?

Latest Comments

  • 11 years ago

    by L

    Thank you for participating, Here is the comment I wrote for this piece in the contest.

    This poem also focuses on the colors of the picture; I feel the golden color of the eye was the focal point of the first and second stanza. The author used " the ring on the finger of a hobbit" and if I am not mistaken the ring is golden, the barley as well as the field of maize has yellowish colors, and the author even took advantage of the color black on the last stanza... "the blackest of black holes" and it's interesting.. the black hole is found in the pupil of the eye within the image. I found that last line extremely creative, if I look at the picture, it does look like a black hole. It looks like the pupil is absorbing the colors of the picture.

    The similes used within this poem were " as the ring of a hobbit," "like electricity, hot and white-golden," "as the one-way mirror of an interrogation chamber."

    The tones of the poem as well as the ideas are good. I do have a nit pick, the part about" the industrial worker" I don't know how to relate it to the picture or to the colors. Though, that line gives this poem a personal touch.

    My interpretation: it seems like the eyes of this someone were filled with many wonders that kept pulling the narrator in, yet the author could not see anything in them, at some point the author's attention diminished.

More Poems By Colm