This is how vague when i'm about to write the poem, i did not understand where to make the sentence past or present, or mixed them up, but here in your poem
"I wake up drowning
in a puddle of my tears
which I have cried for you. "
I'm doubt if I could be written this "I woke up drowned", but I see that the statement is progressive, so your sentence makes me realize that.
and I'm interested on how you build it in this way
"One more night
which I have slept
and met you in my dreams.
-the sentence is telling about the truth of events, i wonder if it is present tense, make me fumbling again.

I can see the fear
inside your eyes
as you see darkness surround you. "
-here the series followed by present event as the action implies itself, i got many troubles when and how I can make the same scenario between past and present, but i can see in between the lines i can grasp some idea on how and where to make it.
in this poem I got a imagery of a big fish, where in the big fish slips in your hand while you are holding him tight, it reminds me of the same in the movie...
Nice poem Saffie.