Slumber and trains

by zombiepikachu   Jan 23, 2013


It's soft breathing while he sleeps
the crowded chairs at the table
it's aqua and maroon
and Elevators and fumbling fingers
a "what next?"
and "did you count the days?"
it's cookies and hot chocolate
and storytelling in the car
it's midnight on sunday, slumber
holding onto Dad, arm tucked under
a soft Bird song
a tapping foot at a desk
aqua and maroon
and "one day I'm gunna get on that Train."

-z
*note: we were given a structure to follow. We had to put sounds in certain spots, or colors, etc. it's supposed to be an expression of "what is poetry" and this is how mine turned out.

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  • 11 years ago

    by Rusheena

    I really like this; it's very unique yet relatable. I love poetry that makes the words visible, opposed to portraying just emotion. Like I mentioned before, punctuation would help pace the poem and keep the reader's eyes from going wild, trying to keep, since the poem is structured the way it is. I really enjoyed this; keep it up!