My mind accuses me endlessly
of all the things i let myself be
a time when nothing else mattered but being with him
my conscience had grown so very dim
i knew he was taken,though he tried to deny
i so badly needed to believe his lie
my heart just kept trying to believe it all
the inevitable it was trying to stall.
my heart and my mind are a whirl wind these days
all though those times changed my life in so many ways
how do you explain a shameful regret,
that you wish you could forget,
although without it you wouldn't have gotten this beautiful gift from above,
you never would've known a mother's undying, amazing love
my child i don't regret you at all i hope you know,
it's the choices i made that i'm regretting so
so many people i hurt in those days,
i even hurt you child along the way
i sentenced you to a life without a daddy
how can i expect you to forgive me?
i hope some day that you will
it bothers me to remember still
but through all that hurting and pain
you were the light shinning through the rain
you have been my reason to live
while myself i try to forgive
the reason i now have a smile
that hasn't been in quite a while
so thank you child for saving me
from me
