Hellon, this poem gave me a very uneasy feeling in my stomach and just broke my heart. I love animals. One of my dogs was attacked by a bigger dog some months ago and is blind in one eye, and his other eye is going out too because of old age. I can barely stand to watch him try to make out where the voices come from half the time. :( and this poem just hit a nerve.

I love the opening stanza, the wording was perfect and just let me imagine everything that was going on, though I know I could never feel your pain. I am so very sorry for your loss. I know our dear pets are like family. Thank you for sharing this. <3

-Liz

This is such a deep poem of loss, and in my eyes the lightning represents death. I took it to be this, and I thought it was a great metaphor because you have described the destruction it leaves behind much the same as death does.

ripped the smile from my frozen face

- this line alone really stood out to me, it is like this is the point of when death takes the thing you love, and with it, goes your smile and your happiness and your being.

it slithered off on tip toes

- I found this line very interesting because lightning is very loud and there is no secretes about, but then if you think about it, once it stops, it kid of just slithers away to its next victim and appears unwanted for them, much like death again.

I found your wording here just so eye catching and unique and you cannot help but read this several times. Very powerfully written.

*

Hmm.. so strange, I saw this poem when you posted it then when I came back to look for it ... it didn't show up.

I thought it was deleted.

on this line I think there is a typo:

@Hellon 24th Januaray 2012

^ January? :P

when I read it, I might be off but the image of someone being stroke by lighting came to mind. Though, that last line and the title "trying to catch the wind" left me wondering who is her... my thoughts: either a woman or earth who was trying to catch the wind.

but then on second read, I picture earth being strike by lighting and the lighting causing destruction to her... moving and breaking the ground, while people where watching. I would definitively have a frozen face if I ever see that image in real.

The title pulled me in. It seemed abstract, I pictured a little child running up a hill, and it is windy. The poem, of course, was completely different and that's one of the things I enjoy about your work.

Death has been symbolised a lot in poetry. I found the use of a lightning bolt very unique and imaginative.

"A lightning bolt
snaked across this silent earth
clouding topaz gems:"

I'm not completely certain of what this piece is about to you, what I got from it was death, loss, or more precisely, the moment before death. Basing on previous comments, I can just see a beloved pet's topaz eyes glazed with death. Perhaps it lost its eyesight, as most animals do when they grow old. assuming it is old age that your pet died of. It is saddening to read this as I myself love animals. But it is inevitable. Right now I've eight cats, three of which are kittens, and a dog. (not counting the fishes haha)

"paralysing limbs at random"

it does seem random. and most of the time, it is unexpected. you captured that flawlessly here.

I love how you wrote how "it slithered off on tip toes" as it shows how death is so destructive, and yet leaves almost unnoticed, silently, as though it deliberately does that, leaving those who've survived to lament in silence.

"then...
in the chilly seconds of uncertainty
I saw her...
trying to catch the wind..."

With this, I picture the persona bent over. There is little hope, and I could just see her - the pet - catching her breath. Chilling, well done.

I see from the other comments that this is about the death a pet. I'm terribly sorry for your loss. Pets are family and it's just as hard to lose one as it would be any other member of the family.

First stanza: The lightning bolt symbolizes death. I see it as the last flickers of life, like a lightning bolt. Topaz gems, the precious pets eyes, clouded with pain, maybe.

Second: You're emotions are in this stanza... shock, fear and heartbreak. :( Very emotional, not much else to say.

Third: You see her, fighting her final moments, trying to catch a few breaths.

Now that I've analyzed this poem... I wonder if maybe... a car hit your pet? It seems to fit to me, I guess it's just how I interpret it. Maybe the lightning is the metaphor for the car. I'm probably wrong, excuse this if I am.

Its whimsical, mysterious and so intriguing to read. I loved how its still in my thoughts, like a fine piece of art that I got the chance to look at.

Your poetry ROCKS!

xxx