Ecstasy (Part II)

by Rusheena   Jan 24, 2013


There's nothing for me to grab, so I curl my toes as tight as I can.

If it burns a hole through me, right now, it couldn't be any sooner.

Sweet, Nebula, take me with you!

Make my soul orgasm that way that you do.

Make me tear my clothes and come undone, into a billion pieces,

until I merge with the sky and let it caress my curves and crevasses.

Suddenly, I begin to convulse; my tears blur my paradise,

until it washes away.

I squeeze my eyes shut and clinch my teeth,

trying not to bite my tongue in half.

When I open my eyes again, the lights are gone.

But I can make out where they've disappeared to.

I look down to find them violently twirling to their deaths.

*Inspired by the song "Narcissistic Cannibal" by Korn ft. Skrillex."*

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  • 11 years ago

    by xXx Eternal PainxXx

    Wow!!! gesh i'm in shock still from the images give me a sec to recover!!! :) 5/5

    Queen Ashlin

  • 11 years ago

    by zombiepikachu

    I read both part I and II. It's interesting how you portrayed this.
    I wasn't a fan of how you separated each line. I felt as if it were unnecessary, trying to bring too much emphasis to each individual line. But perhaps that is the way you wanted this to go.
    The last line confuses me, but I may have read it wrong. What is violently twirling to its death? You say them? Was it the lights?
    I do like the way you chose to portray whatever it is as twirling, however. It seems graceful.
    I think you did really well. Great job!
    C:
    -z

    • 11 years ago

      by Rusheena

      The spacing is mostly habit. I do want each line to have emphasis, but I usually space out all of poetry to make it an easier read because I'm not a big fan of single spacing. There's also a 3rd part, and since the 2nd was so short, I wanted it to look like it was a poem on its own. The last line was about lights (the exploding stars) twirling to their deaths, since dying stars are in motion. Thanks for the feedback! :)

  • 11 years ago

    by Hannah Lizette

    This is the perfect description of ecstasy you feel; it's worded absolutely perfectly. I'm so glad you decided to add a part two. :)

    btw, added you to my favorites list. :)

    • 11 years ago

      by Rusheena

      Thanks, Hannah! There's also a part 3, the finale, but it won't be up until next week because I'm still revising it.

  • 11 years ago

    by Khalid M Darwish

    I loved the wording in your poem, so unique. Good piece. 5/5

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