Haunting first line, love it! I like its mysteries and the pace is beautiful with a looming beat in the sense that it made me slow down when reading it. It stopped me and made me read it over and over again, which is very hard to accomplish as a writer. I´m very impressed and I happily give it my second 5 of the day.

Ares

I love your wordplay! It's provoking and witty, and you balance them out very well.