The Shell of a Girl Who Once Loved

Numbness, you call it an act of rebellion against an event,
That causes deep sadness inside of one's self,
I call it a life style,
When it's more here than when it's not.

I hear everything that goes on in life,
A husband marrying his wife,
Or an emo loving his knife,
But living in an emotional limbo is no life.

They say love is merely blind,
But truly I fear it is never kind,
Even the strongest are knocked down,
When cold hearted had once been a clown.

The clown had even owned a crown,
But instead of swimming through life she just drowned,
And now she wears a dearly beautiful gown,
For now she has no ways to go but down.

Her hurt burns itself in her side,
She has never been one to run or hide,
Every person she has lovesdhavs dead or chose to leave,
So secretly she carves her message beyond her sleeve.

She's not afraid to die,
Or to tell her loved ones goodbye,
But she will be damned if she says one lie,
Or puts on hair dye,
She used to be strong
But now she's shy,
And she looks in the night
And begins to cry,
For she still sees his face in the sky.

Deeper and deeper the wounds emerge,
A fake smile she tries to forge,
It's been there so long no one can tell,
In secret she releases her screams,
This is the time when the tears fell,
Death became a hope ,
So she bled,
Bled until she was almost dead,
And as the darkness covered her,
Happiness flooded her as death she yearned.

But this wasn't the lesson she was supposed to have learned,
So with that death did what it wasn't supposed to and let her burned,
Burned her with the lesson she was supposed to have learned and turned,
For many still loved her and He did what was right and let her return.

Her purpose was still here,
Her time had not yet come,
She would be important to someone,
One day be the Mother whom loved the most,
And be the strength for those whom always held her close.

Although she would always hold,
That darkness made in gold,
She wouldn't look cold,
But then again it would be the mask she wore she'd always sold.

If only others looked passed her very shell,
Her wearing a mask but they could never tell,
Afraid of others always letting her down,
She hide behind cruel words,
Flinging her rude side at everyone passing by,
No one dared to give her a real chance,
A girl of suffering they let down at every glance,
Constantly, always being let down,
It stung when it was someone she loved,
That's why her heart became stone,
The feeling of her was more and more gone.