We meet again my old friend

So we meet again my old friend
as I say to my knife
I thought I was done
but I guess not
as I hold the knife in my hand
oh the memories
as the blade touches my skin
a shiver down my spine
as I slide it across my skin
of the memories it brings back
as I do more cuts
it feels so good
god I miss this
the feeling my old friend brought
I already did 30 but who's counting
I plea with myself to stop
but I can't
it feels to good
I look helpless at my arm
covered with kisses from my knife
I ask why
what made me come back to you
and I reamber
I reamber what
it was you
the one I hate
bit the one I love so much
so what am I to do
I put the knife down
and go to the shower
so no one can see the tears I shed
the tears of hate
the tears of sadness