What's going on?
Why am I like this?
Why am I doing this to myself?
Where am I going in life?
Questions that are hard to answer everyday of my life. I walk into school Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday. I feel like I'm just a walking thing. Nothing that's important. Just another person. And yet when I screw up it's noticed by everyone. One good thing that happens and I'm nothing. Left out in the cold like I have been in my past. Thinking things could change haven't. I sit there and zone out. Why am I like this? I'm not sure. I don't know. The same answer I give for a lot of the questions people ask me. All I know for sure is that I'm depressed and can't handle much. Stress is too much. Don't know what all is bothering me. I tried to make things make sense in my life. Yet when I start to move forward, I move 10 steps back. Why is it when I move 10 steps back everyone notices. But just one step forward and its nothing. Is it my disorder that's screwing with me? Am I letting it take over me? Is that why people don't want to talk to me? Is it because I'm always depressed?
Well, Who knows what the true answers are. Things are happening and Things feel like they are getting worse and worse each day. So all I do is sit around and do nothing but try to stay alive. How am I suppose to get this all out of my head? Thats a question I'm still trying to answer.
All I know is that I'm lonely and wish I was able to feel like a person again.
