It's not you, it's me.

by Chelsey   Feb 6, 2013


I see the shape of your face in shadows on my wall;
unconsciously I smirk. Wrinkles in the paint make
me visualize your smile and I hate myself for even
day dreaming right now...daydreaming of you.

I blink.
Snapping back to reality.

The point of locking myself in this room tonight was to
rid my mind of your memory, but you're still here.
Upon walls that heard me pray for you, upon sheets
that made me crave you, upon windows that held my
breath when I looked at the moon...thinking of you.

God.

I hate this. Nothing is your fault and I'm so sorry
for the ounce of bad you'll even feel. Its always me.
I do this often, but never have I done it this bad before.
Fall for people I can't have. Live for unrealistic dreams.

I've done more than you even asked of me. I've tried
to adopt your hobbies, your likes, your taste in
everything and it was wrong of me. It was my attempt
to feel close to you, when it was never an invitation-
just a conversation.

So I'm choosing to walk away.
From this relationship.
From this friendship.
From this habit.

I miss you so much already and you aren't even aware
of my choice. Yet, it must be done. I can't do this.
So when silence falls on telephones and avoidance
speaks in public...I'm sorry. I had to prevent it.

From falling for the only one who anointed me
with his company.

    report violation
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Latest Comments

  • 11 years ago

    by HappieMappie

    Wow. That's amazing. I was touched. :]

  • 11 years ago

    by Giegielove Goddess Poet

    Nice one! 5/5 for you!

  • 11 years ago

    by AngelDust

    Wow.. This reminded me of a past relationship and it really hit home. It's taken me back to what it was like when we broke up and how much it hurt.. I'm so sorry that you have to feel that pain. I know what it's like to crave that person, crave that kind of love. You couldn't have used any better words. . Amazing write.

    Danika.

  • 11 years ago

    by Tara Kay

    Flipping heck Chelsey, have you invaded my mind?!!

    I know too well all that "Its me not you" crap... and I hate it...but you just penned everything I want to say...you broke into my head and ripped the words out of it

    Flipping heck, you made me an emotional wreck...nodding along like a nodding dog and like ten thousand pins had been poked into my heart.

    Plus I felt it on a personal level for you too...you really got into the piece and made it speak for you

    x

  • 11 years ago

    by Ares

    I'll happily join in the others in the choir of praise you're getting here. Fantastic poem, Chelsea! It's flawless, really; the beat is good, the pace is not too slow, you don't shy away from keeping it real and heartfelt. It's a really attractive poem in many ways because of the real emotions that laces the stanzas and for that reason I can't find any faults and I'm really impressed and happy for you that you were able to get this out and in to something sensibe.

    Amazing work :)

    Ares

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