A sonnet of this kind should be presented like this....I believe?

There should be three quatrains, which have four lines each, followed by a couplet, which is two lines....not sure...just what I've read about them....anyway...

Takes nothing away from the presentation which is pretty damn perfect...I was not a lover of shakespeare or sonnets for a very long time to be honest but now....I guess I'm mellowing enough to enjoy both....

only little critique, which will not stop me nominating, this lovely verse..

Then tresses like seaweed strangle your throat,
then sorrow snatches its sense from your skin

both of these lines start with then...just disturbed my reading slightly...

Honestly...I love this poem SO much that I've come back to it....glad you've laid it out for better reading..well for me anyway..

then sorrow snatches its sense from your skin,

I know I said earlier about both lines starting with then so..suggested this one starting with when?....just a thought?

Congratulations on your win....I was very pleased to see this one on the front page today.

It saddens me to see that I'm the only one who has commented on it so far but....I'm glad that one judge agreed with my nomination and took note that it was the only one you got on this. Sad, that on a site that is meant for poetry good poetry seems to take second place to popularity.

I think perhaps a poem should not read like a riddle. It got to be trite but not cryptic. It got to be beautiful.

I am so proud of you, this poem is superbly fantastic :D You know how I always loved reading your poems. Always had and always will ;P

Beautiful poem, I agree with hellon

My only thing is that if I am not mistaken two lines have no the iambic pentameter.

to narrow in the presence of a night's vow.

^^ for instance this one, it has 11 syllables and thus night is more stressed that vow.

And also on the one that says:

For time leaves you - a starfish at bay-

^^ this line has 9 syllables and so to me the final stressed goes to "at" instead of "bay."
Though, I still get confuse with how to distinguish it lol
However, if I read that line on it's own -a starfish at bay-" it gives me the opposite of the iambic pentameter and thus the stressed goes at "bay." So I am assuming that's the reason it of the - - to make a stop and give the stressed on the a to end the stressed on bay.

Other than that, it's fun to read how the sound in the words goes unstressed, stressed, unstressed, stressed.

Amazing.

I think it does have the imbiac pentameter that's why the stressed goes to night which is the 10 syllable lol

And the other one, the stressed goes at "at" which is the eight syllable.

I really do like the way it flowed and the ryhming in some of the parts just beautiful and i really do love

and desire dissolves behind eyes, too wide
to narrow in the presence of a night's vow.
^ that part makes me think of sadness and the night lol

I have been judging for a few weeks now and this is the best poem I have come across to date. I am nowhere near competent enough to be able to say whether or not this is a correctly written sonnet. All I can say is that it flows beautifully. There is immense imagery throughout and the rhyming scheme is spot on. As a stand alone poem this is a lesson in poetry. It is a sad reflection that only one member has nominated this....probably old fashioned, it is a form which seems to be sooo yesterday!!!
I love this, once my stint is over not only is this poem going into my favourites, but so to is the author and I look forward to reading more of your stuff.
Awesome, awesome poem.