by sibyllene Feb 10, 2013
category :
Sadness, depression /
lost relationships
Today, I went out. |
[Weekly Contest Comment: 2/18/13] |
by Meme
Interesting title to begin with, but I didn't get the second half of it. Why Endothermic? |
by Saerelune
"This poem didn't tell me the story of an introvert, it SHOWED me the story of an introvert, something I found compelling to say the least. I thoroughly enjoyed the crisp details within every image, in my opinion slightly alluding to the personality of the persona: the way she's more likely to observe others rather than interact with them. I must say that I thought the first two stanzas to be rather stiff at first glance, but upon further reading I grew fond of the everyday scenery and the way they could confirm so much of the persona's loneliness. The last three stanzas made it for me, though. Such predictable behaviour for an introvert yet the writer made it especially sad, for loneliness seems to ooze within every image. I must also note that the line "I / paused the television and / watched frozen expressions / until they went dark." was cleverly written, adding some heartfelt spice to the overal atmosphere. All in all, a well-constructed poem, with effective repetition of the word "today", making the described situations sound almost mechanical/routine-like, as if the persona has even become numb to her own introversion-induced sadness. For sure worthy of its 10 points, glad this poem came into existence with such spark." |
by Britt
Only you could write a poem of a journal entry/day log and make it this good. |
by myonlymoon
This is so unbelievably powerful. |