Cabin Fever (Senryu)

Hellon,

I'm trying to get back into commenting so forgive my rusty comment.

I always have a love for short poetry and formed poetry such as the senryu really allows the reader to create a powerful statement. What I enjoyed about this piece was the fact that you were depicting the environment around you and while the poem seemed to be purely a representation of what you're seeing and feeling, as per usual with your writing I found more beyond the surface.

This is such an Australia poem for me, I say that in a sense that the imagery depicts one of those unbearable hot summer Aussie days where you're feeling well ... dead to say the least. The bugs, the stagnant air, the cockroach, warm beer, these are all things I can relate to and of course while I know we are residing in different states these are pretty ironically known throughout all of Australia.

For me the message beyond the surface was depicted in the title. The restlessness of being shut in doors to escape the 36 degree weather could become a metaphor for isolation. Perhaps it was only isolation for this period of time or perhaps the fact that you refer to a cabin represent the actual distance between you and others in your community. I particularly liked the way you named the cockroach, the little bit of humour made me smile but it also made me wonder if you were referring to your mind state at the time, being isolated for a long period creates a sense of restlessness, boredom and of course you become a little crazy.

I'm really fond of this poem, the imagery made me feel comfortable and at ease.

Mel

Like ^^ said, I'm sure there is a double meaning to this.. but in all honestly I can easily picture a couple people at a cabin, drinking beer and watching two bugs on the wall...... Literally, lol! And 36°C is pretty warm for 9:30PM. I know the feeling- humid, muggy, stagnant. Definitely interesting to read! :)

Alright, I've been poring over this for a while now. I keep thinking it has a sort of double meaning, I'm still not a hundred percent sure. It has a simple message, simple imagery, words are simple.. the tone is really heavy and it sets the atmosphere perfectly, very fitting with the title and all. It's just clever.
I also enjoyed the Freddie cockroach bit. Added a unique personality to this piece. It really shows how a person is when they're bored, lonely - with cabin fever, they go to the extent to name a bug. Brilliant, and shows your sense of humour!
I really can't say anything else. The double meaning thing, I'm still unsure about. Maybe it doesn't even have one, and it's just me. But your poetry always makes me think.
Perhaps you've a friend, or maybe you know someone named Freddie? Ahah. Enjoyed it!