Fly On The Wall

You are a genius, this piece is spectacular!!!

You managed to describe eavesdropping in such a poetic way. The metaphors were spot on, the descriptions of the place and the surroundings and the sounds.... This is a masterpiece for sure, one of your best and deepest writes!

Amazing.
xxx

I loved this one enough to nominate it regardless of whether you take my suggestions on board..just the whole idea of being a fly on the wall would appeal to most I guess :) I will say that I think there is a deeper meaning to this poem than just the fly listening....

Ever so quietly, I watch you
with your desperate ear wide open
and pressed up against the wooden door
hoping for a trace of gossip.

You leave an ear shaped print
against the cold glass of the pane
as you try to convert mumbles
into what you want to hear.
^^
You mention a wooden door in stanza #1 no mention of glass here and yet there is an ear print left on glass in stanza #2..picky I know but...I wondered...did the fly move or what because it just wasn't made clear.

Laying perfectly still,
I continue to observe
as the cogs in your brain
develop Chinese whispers
which will spread like wild fire
into dangerous spiteful rumours.

I have travelled far and witnessed
many ugly situations unravel from
the lies that stem from the growth
of an untrue poisonous flower.

Yet every day I find myself smiling
as I mind my own business
and travel from house to house
seeing the same results.

As I rest my wings
and hush my buzz
and settle to watch
the same episode on replay.^

^^^

I'd get rid of one of those and words...

I see;

An ear pressed up against a wall
and hear secret wishes muttered under breath
that you all wish for just one day
you could live as a fly on the wall.
And who would of thought *
that the day would come
when someone actually wished
they could trade places with me?

* This is a common mistake I find a lot of people on this site make...especially Australians...it should be...who would have thought...

I love how you've made the eavesdropping fly a lone traveler, very creative. I'm a sucker for poetry with image, and yours was full of it.

"You leave an ear shaped print
against the cold glass of the pane
as you try to convert mumbles
into what you want to hear."

Such vivid imagery! It's a bit nostalgic and takes you back to time that you've eavesdropped on someone. It makes you feel isolated, and it's so thought provoking. It makes you wonder if any eavesdropping is genuine. Great work, Saffie :)

Okay Saffie, Now I loved this, you always manage to take the prompt and run with it, you don't hold back, you find your spin on it and let it flow and it does so smoothly.

I loved this piece. Good job
x

Ever so quietly, I watch you
with your desperate ear wide open
and pressed up against the wooden door
hoping for a trace of gossip.

^I love this start, it really pulled me in. Great job!

You leave an ear shaped print
against the cold glass of the pane
as you try to convert mumbles
into what you want to hear.

^ Everyone knows what this feels like to some degree, especially if they remember when they were little trying to listen to parents talking or siblings on the phone. So, I guess I'm trying to say, I like this stanza a lot.

Laying perfectly still,
I continue to observe
as the cogs in your brain
develop Chinese whispers
which will spread like wild fire
into dangerous spiteful rumours.

^ I love the metaphors/similes here and the descriptions they provide. "rumours" should be rumors though, I think... I don't know... kinda tired lol

I have travelled far and witnessed
many ugly situations unravel from
the lies that stem from the growth
of an untrue poisonous flower.

^ I love this stanza the most. It is creative and beautiful. Nice idea.

Yet every day I find myself smiling
as I mind my own business
and travel from house to house
seeing the same results.

^ Now, you feel like a fly and the audience can feel where you are coming from. I like the simplicity here.

As I rest my wings
and hush my buzz
and settle to watch
the same episode on replay.

^More fly feelings! XD I love it! sorry... I'll compose myself again. Again, love the simplistic detail.

I see;

An ear pressed up against a wall
and hear secret wishes muttered under breath
that you all wish for just one day
you could live as a fly on the wall.
And who would of thought
that the day would come
when someone actually wished
they could trade places with me?

^ Fantastic way to tie the piece up. I am a definate fan of this one.

Well written. Great write. Fantastic piece. 5/5