Loves Sick wonderland

There is that familiar sickness
climbing up my throat and chest
I've been in this love sick place
so often I'm the girl who knows it best

and I'm sitting on a cloud of damaged love,
love's ashes and smoke
While I'm screaming so loudly
inside I'm scared I'll choke.

Love's endless blood is leaking from me,
I'm so distressed
I'm vomiting up the blood of desire,
the perfect toxic to digest
And my tears are so hot
they are stinging and sizzling
Nobody knows that far below
my soul is rain that's drizzling.

It's quiet in the shallow world,
where I wander loveless and blue
in this world of heartbreak apart from reality,
I easily find you
every rose is made from pieces of your skin
stained by my blood
the rivers are my stomach acid
that overflow and cleanse this place
This world more misunderstand
and fascinating then the endless outer space.

It's a world as distracting as Wonderland,
yet more deadly than disease
A place that constricts and
consumes me so immensely, a chilling breeze
a breeze that surrounds me,
made from the breath between your lips
the slightly damp air that follows
the release of your compassionate kiss.

I know this place is damaging
to my mental health
although somewhat I feel like
I've gained some mental wealth
Yet I have no control over when
I'm forced to enter love's evil domain
and sometimes it is reassuring to have you
close to me in my brain

I've made a boat out of your heart I stole,
The flag is made from your hair
Your lurking presence I FEEL everywhere,
in everything yet your not there
I'm lying in this heart boat
covered in your blood, soothed by its beat
somehow the thumping makes me believe
that I am not so incomplete.

I keep searching for an exit,
oblivious to how I even arrived
Need to escape these love demons
before it's to late to be revived
The trees are your cracked bones
and mine entwined forever more
and soon I will vanish with this place
if I don't soon find the door.

I'm optimistic now,
had a chance to look and find
It is not a door I'm searching for,
but a loveless place within my mind
I know the key to my release, is to let go,
forget, forgive and I'll stray
Yet the fear of lingering
to Love's Sick Wonderland
is there every single day.