Crossing Deviation

Gud one,

You described so beautifully Meme..this is so touching!
Excellent!

You promised to let go
in the absence of hope
and I promised to stay
in the presence of love.

- this is such a good opening and worded in a way that was clever and unique. It shows two people in a relationship with different points of view and the contrast each other. It also really touches me to read because we can see you are the one trying to hold on but they are the ones trying to let go.

So where are we now?

- I like the question because the contrast in the first poem leaves you in a very uneasy and confused state of mind about what the future is going to hold for you both. I also like how this question could be directed to them, the reader, or yourself. all three could attract different answers too which I found very insteresting even though I relise you probably did not mean this.

Are you a few steps away
from walking out the door?
Or am I a few steps closer
to holding you in my arms?

- This again shows the difference in thought of the two people and while you are unsure if they are walking away or not, you are still in hope that you are going to get closer but either way there is still the unkown steps to take to find the answer.

I questioned the distance
in between the two of us,
and you answered the
silence of the steps apart.

- I love this bit MeMe! The play on the opposites is so very clever. You wonder what the distance means and whether it is good or bad or can be fixed etc when the other person seems to know the answers and understand exactly why these steps are between you. And just fromt he toen of the poem it comes across like they are happy witht hat and it does not bother them like it bothers you. :(

I believed in promises until..

You walked away on me
in the absence of love,
while I awaited for you
in the presence of hope.

- I think it shoud be walked away from me? and not on me? and either "I waited for you" or " awaited your return"
- but this ending is so sad! It is like you were hoping all along for this not to be the outcome and tried everything to hold onto what you wanted, when the other person knew this was the outcome and they had probably walked away a long time before you realised they were already gone.

Very touching poem and good use of creativity. DEfo a favourite! xxx

p.s. really like the title :)

Well this made me cry... took me to a time I dont like to think about allot... Oh you captured that moment..when the one you love walks away... sighs... I do love the antiquish style here... now what I mean by that is... you wrote this with almost how a woman would have back in the later days...early 1900's in a letter to a love gone to war... I hope Im expressing myself right... but Meme- that is why this piece is so unique and it truly touches me... ohhhhhhh yes yes yes... this is my favorite by you....

Ugh. This is heart breaking....I like the play on words in the first and last stanza. Which is what truly makes this poem break ones heart. You see two sides of the story, one wanting to leave, one begging to hang on to love, and in the end, the one who believes in love gets hung to dry by the one who never wanted it, never felt it...

Such a crap thing to go through...it truly is...but its in times like these where we have to truly convince ourselves that we deserve more. We can't keep fighting for someone who doesnt believe in what we believe in. Life is way too short to be wasting our time in one sided love. It hurts to move on, but you'll never feel anything more healing then when you find tha person whose willing to be in a two sided love with you.

Beautiful piece girl.