Comments : Serenity.

  • 11 years ago

    by Saerelune

    It's been a while since I read something new from you, glad you posted something. :)

    "I never imagined one could love through
    shivering winter months "
    ^ I thought these lines to be interesting, because it's true that winter would probably be a less desirable month as opposed to summer, and more saddening hence less fruitful for love ... but maybe it's the cold of winter that allows us to search for love, search for warmth, hence becoming fruitful in the end? That being said, I thought these lines were speaking about loving even through hardships.

    " ... where words
    flurry softly 'neath a sleepless
    moon blending into darkness"
    ^ First thing that sprung to my mind was: snow! I like the idea of comparing words with snow: gentle, soft, beautiful, and fading into the dark. Maybe alluding to late night conversations (hence the sleepless moon) ... Quite romantic.

    "... yet love
    has never seemed more alive since I met
    you within the silence of a kiss."
    ^ These words just speak for themselves, and that's nice because the simplicity of loving must feel so profound. Juxtaposing the liveliness of love with the dying of winter make these final lines about love so much more powerful.

    Can I also just say that I really like how the lines seemed to shift into each other due to your enjambment? Feels like all it takes is one breath, one moment, to absorb all of its beauty. A sweet little poem this is.

  • 11 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    I really agree with what The Huntress said also how about the lines shifting into each other, it made the poem all more precious, as if everything is in harmony, this serenity as your title is! The flow of this is calming and this one line expresses so much "yet love has never seemed more alive since I met you within the silence of a kiss".... Temps, your love poetry is far beyond beautiful and the brevity is just perfect too :] I really liked how you wrote about the endurance of love in a way too, being able to still love so strongly in a winter that is mixed with chaos and tons of things that pile up like snow....it can truly last through anything. My heart was touched by this & you should be very proud of this poem and you <3 Keep writing

  • 11 years ago

    by TJ Arizona Eagle

    Excellent write from the heart I enjoyed reading it. It gave the reader a sense of peace

  • 11 years ago

    by Jad

    Yeah, Huntress just about summed it up for the entire poem. The poem was a beautiful picturesque scene that I found quite enjoyable. I love how you incorporate winter into your loving embrace through the cold months. Your ideas were splendid and the poem flowed quite nicely. Not really much else to say but Great job and keep writing!!

    P.S. Nice to get another one of your poems to read. Missed your work.

  • 11 years ago

    by xXx Eternal PainxXx

    Yet love
    has never seemed more alive since I met
    you within the silence of a kiss.

    ^^^^ that is just beautiful!!! i remember a part in my life where i felt that raw emotions in this part once ago i had it lol but it's just a masterpiece!!! 5/5

    Queen Ashlin

  • 11 years ago

    by Jenni Marie

    I love this!

    I adore your short pieces, you always manage to capture so much within just a few words and it's so nice to see you posting once again!

    "shivering winter months where words
    flurry softly 'neath a sleepless"

    ^^Favourite lines, to me this reminds me of snow, Christmas, and makes me think how even though it is so cold at times (shivering) it can be so beautifully warming and comforting. (softly, sleepless)

    The last three lines are just so..beautiful! I always find it difficult to critique your work because you always manage to meld your words so perfectly together...there isn't a single thing I don't like about this.

    "within the silence of a kiss"

    Love this! It made me think on how intimate kisses really are, they are so meaningful, emotional, and stand for so much between two people truly in love.

    As always, flow and imagery-flawless and each compliment the other perfectly.

    Beautiful. Just beautiful!