Slave

I've always loved your poetry Mel but there seems to be a change in your style now...perhaps as you mature, you are more open in your words.

This poem is just fantastic! You speak of places in Malta so I have to wonder if, at some point, your family (on your mother's side) came from there?

People tend to look into eyes to see a story but hands can tell you so much more I think..generations of women as you mention slaved long and hard in the kitchen/washroom tending to their families out of love and this comes across very well here...others have done so in the past so your mother carries on with her family chores as a loving mother does...although exhausted at the end of the day.

You speak of her breathing when he left and mention the same fumes which gassed his father so....I'm wondering if there is also a jewish connection here...not sure.

You have mentioned ships and the ocean a fair bit in past poetry so obviously they have some important part in your early childhood...maybe some family members where in some way connected with the sea?

Your ending was just perfect...obviously you love your mother very much and you also have great admiration for her struggles though life.

Got to be my favourite from you to date!

EDIT

I meant to add that I liked the mention of St Gerard, the patron saint of mothers....I know this because the high school I attended in Glasgow was St. Gerard's Sen.Sec. High School....guess I learned something there after all haha!!!

This is so wasan shire like..

I can't breathe..

you're a Goddess, always.

Your second stanza here is so beautiful. I love the repetition, it's not something you do very often, and the structure of the whole piece is so different than your usual style. You still kept the same .. "Mel" factor here.

Anyway back to second stanza just mirrors family so much. The stories you've told me about your mom is perhaps what connects me so much here. I can just imagine her making ravioli or whatever it was she was making because someone requested it, and then never showed. But your mom is gracious, loving and sweet and she would do it all over again.. but maybe take more time doing it the second time 'round lol.

I LOVE the "fish her wishes". Internal rhyme makes me melt, you know.

"She prays to Saint Gerard and hums herself to sleep
with songs about home and absence." -- this is so beautiful and very sad, though absence doesn't have to be. It could be a peaceful thing as humming is.

Your next stanza about him leaving is so beautiful and liberating as a woman who can finally have relief and peace. The birthing water willows is so interesting, and of course you incorporate skin somewhere :)

Can I just say I LOVE that your poems tie together? Her body being a shipwreck and your other poem prior talking of sinking ships. Oh it's just so beautiful how you have recurring themes, you can tell it really means something to you, that piece so personal.

Your ending is beautiful of course, and while it talked before of absence, she truly is never alone. This is such a beautiful piece and I'm sure you didn't, but I hope you shared it with her.

Sorry, double post.

If I remember correctly, you're of Maltese descent, right? I think that's where the reference to Spinola Bay comes from, and I'm also assuming the same about "Saqqajja fountain" and "Merill" (didn't google those so I am not sure).

Your pieces as of late feel like they're going through a revolution. There's still symbolism in your poetry. With your great knowledge about culture and art and many objects, I would be surprised if you didn't incorporate their symbolism in your poetry anymore. So I am glad that it still exists. But then, you seem much more open and straightforward now. I always thought you were great at creating ambiance, but now the ambiance isn't just a vague feeling, it's much more articulated.

What I loved about this piece is exactly what I described above. This poem is a beautiful garden which could tickle the senses with one glance, but once the wandered finds an untrodden pathway or a hidden mushroom, she's swept away. :)

I loved how you emphasized "generations", how after each birth it seems like the ever-same sorrows are reincarnated. You only use the word "generation" once but it's enough to feel the power of that word throughout the whole piece due to the subtle way of showing us. Like, how your mother and her mother and her mother had a swollen finger (could it be the ring finger? Alluding to unpleasant situations within marriage?), and how your father and his father were the same fumes. But I feel like you're breaking the chain here, you're making a difference, you're not going to be a part of these bruised generations. It reminds me that people think that children know nothing, while they do. I see the same thing happening here. You appear young and innocent, "fishing wishes" (<thought that to be quite cute and innocent), but you know very well what's going on. Your last line makes me think that you're there to support her.