Darkness

A short piece, but very effective. Well done.

~ Senyru

Go back and fix the errors in this poem because I cannot how people mess up the civilization on the one letter word "I", I'm not trying to be mean, but grammar and spelling are a HUGE things in a poem to go from fair to amazing that being said welcome to poetry and you do have talent for trying the world of poetry since it's rare nowadays for young adults to touch poetry anymore. 4/5

-Mori

Really think it's interesting how your "i"s are not capitalized. It works well for this poem. To me at least, it signifies how vulnerable and scared you are.

I would suggest taking a pause before the final line, whether pressing the enter key more after "i wonder who it is" or adding an "..." or even putting the last line in parenthesis so the reader is left with that final, haunting thought.

Another suggestion would be to add the sounds of the someone entering and instead of outright saying you are scared (which is already implied), give the reader clues as to emotion. If your hands are trembling, heart beat racing, anxious thoughts, etc.

Keep writing!

I like it but i dont like how it leaves u wondering i think it needs a ending i dont like the suspence

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