My Life in Pieces

The cogs stopped twisting,
The hand stopped ticking.
The clock stopped turning,
that inner life stopped burning.

Yet the whole of my life is returning,
though dead I am now adjourning.
But don't worry; death is just the beginning of a new life!
Though I can't say you'll ever find one without strife.

So tell me,
Have you ever lived your life in a box?
Just staring at the Clocks?
Watching time tick away?
Wishing that you were dead the next day?

Because I have........
I was lying in my bed,
waiting, just waiting to be dead,
when the tragedies of my life kept circling in my head.
It was my wife, of whom I remembered, every shred;

Her beautiful face and her pretty smile,
that not even the Sirens could imitate with all of their guile.
The love we had, the love we made!
No matter what, our marriage could not be swayed!

We had 3 little boys,
with us 5 we had many joys.
Until one day, my wife had gone away.
Her last words "John don't go astray.
There is still happiness in life; you just have to find it,
never let go of it."

Her body, lifeless in the hospital, she died of cancer,
I kept talking, crying but received no answer.
"Rachel! Rachel! Don't leave me, don't die!"
I asked and screamed "why?! Why?!"

I thought of going to see her but couldn't live life only halfway.
It was my sons that I couldn't stand to betray.
Though I felt my life was in decay,
it was life, that I could no longer delay.

So over time my wounds healed though they left scars.
I accepted that they would be there forever, just like the stars.
I raised my children to be as happy as I could,
I found that happiness and my life was good.

Until one day.
Rrrrrrring, rrrrrrrrrrrring, "Hello?" "Is this John Livingston?" "Yes"
"John, I am sorry, but your son Simon....has passed away,"
"he got hit by a car."

My life was shattered,
I felt so battered,
I gave up.

When I heard my wife's last words again ring in my head,
I rejected it,
"No, no! I am sick of life! I want to be dead!
How many times will my loved ones be ripped out of my hands?!
There is no more pain that I can withstand!"

And now here I am waiting for life to slowly fade,
wanting death while at the same time hating it.
Not because I don't know what will happen,
but because I know I am letting down my sons,
and my wife's last wishes.
And because.......I'm leaving them behind.

My vision starts to blur,
my thoughts start to slur,
my sense of touch disappears,
and all my years.
I begin to drift through the air
still feeling weak and beaten, something that even death cannot repair.....