Its not who I am

I live in the darkness
where I am not reached
my family and "friends"
just think I'm a freak
I am so alone
I'm suprised my heart still beats
will I be alone forever?
or will I finally meet someone whoes heart also does not beat?
I get so tired
of wearing a mask
its not who I am
so why do I continue
to hide all this sad
is it because
I do not want my family and "friends"
to know
the truth of who I am?
I do not know
but
I do hope that one day
I will meet someone who will actually finally love me