Comments : The Boat Of Love

  • 11 years ago

    by Karla

    We all wait your boat too. Gorgeous piece.

  • 11 years ago

    by Amreen

    Beautiful! Autumn, this is a great metaphorical poem. And I love the use of boats and the birds to show your hopes for a perfect love.
    Amazing:)

  • 11 years ago

    by Marcy Lewis

    This is a good write. This isn't a piece that just whines about "Why won't some JUST LOVE MEEEE AWAAAAHHHHH! D':" This is the a very darling poem that just shows you patiently waiting for the write person to drop anchor into your life, which I love.

    "For the boat of love my
    heart has to anticipate,
    and upon delay, there at
    the harbor my heart will
    patiently await."

    ^Pretty much describes my opener. :p It's very sweet. There's not a hint of desperation whatsoever in this write. It's just quiet, sitting still, and waiting. Such a rare thing, and so lovely. Girls often just jump at the first person to show them any kind of affection - but you wait for a right one.

    "As I observe boat filled
    with passengers of love passes
    me by I will keep my hopes as
    high as the winged creatures can
    fly."

    Again, with the positivity. You aren't wavering in confidence, or upset by the people who have what you are waiting on. Keeping your hopes high is such a great thing. I love the simile in this stanza with the use of birds.

    "Anchoring on to the wooden dock
    I await the bliss of love clock.
    Unsure of the face, unsure of
    the date, but here by the blue
    waters I'll have to wait. "

    ^I like that there wasn't an immediate resolve to this. There wasn't a sudden lover coming into the picture. Just a happy patience of a rare girl. This had beautiful imagery as well. "Anchoring on to the wooden dock" is physical imagery, as well as "but here by the blue waters I'll have to wait." That just makes you feel like you're sitting inside the poem. The emotional imagery "I await the bliss of love clock." and "Unsure of the face, unsure of the date" are so sweet. I almost have become as patient as the speaker by the time I finished reading.

    Wonderful!

  • 11 years ago

    by Sinclaire

    I enjoyed the metaphor you used here, it's clever. Also the rhythm throughout it is catchy in a way, I actually read it out loud the second time to see how it would sound. I like it.

    Although, with the nice rhythm you established and the great metaphor I feel like it could be longer, like it has a lot more potential. I'm not saying it's not great now, because it is. But you could totally add onto it to develop it even more if you wanted to. Keep it mind that it is already a 5/5 though. :)

  • 11 years ago

    by Sinclaire

    Sorry, double post.

  • 11 years ago

    by crystaljean88

    I believe that this poem has more potential than what is here.. maybe you should try adding a little more to it. besides that, its sweet