by Xanthe
This actually made me smile. It reminds me so much of how I used to write. It's filled with raw emotions, and these are somewhat magnified and manufactured, if I may say so. I think the tone and emotions could do with a little bit more taming, but you have potential in my opinion. Read more, write more, and I'm sure you'll grow much more as a poet in a few years. |
by Sakura chan
Thank you so much~ Ah you know this poem of mine is getting lots of comments in one go you know. But anyways, thank you again v(^.^)v |
by Lemon
The fact that you say that there is silence in your heart and that your heart is beating fast is fairly contradictory. I recommend trying to make each point that you make as concise and direct as you can: make it simple and bold. Maybe try writing without the rhyme? Rhyme often over-complicates things and it can hold a lot of writers back. I agree with Xanthe, though, you do have potential and I imagine that in a few years time you will have honed your skills and become a great poet! :) |
by Sakura chan
Thanks~ and yeah, ill try to do what you have said~ :D |