Smeared Lead

Chelsea, this seemed so refreshing coming from you! I love the hints and the drawbacks you've put here where normally in your other poems you just come right out and say what's on your mind. You used a lot of metaphors and that makes my mind reel in such a good way! (:

This was proper and pushing but not too overwhelming. It was done just right.

"I won't beg for a chance, but rather pray
on this potential."

^ I loved this line. You rocked this poem. Great job!

Secrecy has been the flask that hides
our chemistry and I'm two degrees from
boiling over. To mask our possibility of
becoming something, is like covering
the hues that make this world shine;
we must be revealed.

- the tone in the beginning is one of deepness and frustration for what is happening. I like the mention of the chemistry and boiling over, very creative. Then the tone changes in your very last line to make a more impactful statement of we must carry on and keep going.

When will you see that, yes, there are
reasons we should not unite, but I can
defend 50 more reasons why we should.

- I like the word choice of defend here, because normally I would read or hear, 50 reasons I can say, but here you are declaring that you won't just say or write them you would have reasons to defend them. This got me curious about who the poem was written to, yourself or someone else. This stanza alone can relate to both.

I could get lost in your life for a day and
never want to abandon it. Undoubtedly, I would
succumb to your requests, your needs,
because someone like you, who can make
ones doom disappear with the crack of
a smile, deserves proper care.

- again this could be both. If it is someone else then you can see their inner beauty and that they have a caring heart and deserve to shine in the world. If it is yourself then you are reminding yourself that you are this person and not the person that probably your mind has tried to convince you that you are, which we always do to ourselves.

Why do you listen to a conscience that
discerns the leery, but mistakes the real?
I am the solution to your renewed happiness.

- love the word choice here Chels, it makes your poem yours, and unique. Your question is aimed within your conversation here but it also jumps out to the reader and I found myself asking myself the same question. Then you actually give an answer of reassurance beneath the question. Like you know this is the answer, it always has been and always will be, you just need to convince yourself to trust in it and believe it.

I won't beg for a chance, but rather pray
on this potential. If time passes and
the coward in you overwhelms the courage
in you, I'll smear this lead and blacken these
words of their existence. Until then, give me an
excuse to make them clear.

- Love your ending! Very powerful in the bravery you hold and the encouragement of wanting to break free from these emotions and become what you know you can be. I think this will speak out to a lot of people who need a boost right now in their confidence. I also like the wording of the smearing lead ( explaining the title ) it is another uniqueness to your poem.

Deep thinking poem, but the tone is high in the way it is trying to motivate the inner self to believe in yourself. I do like how it could be read as also motivating someone else to believe in the themselves also.

Good job.

I love it how you lay your emotions out on the table, in your face! I really like that about your poetry... You have a "I am woman, hear me roar" tone in this poem and I love it!!!

You have an elegance within here as well... sharing your thoughts and feelings... but also, stating facts and observations... the wording makes a comforting tone while reading as well.... Really adore this one from you Chels :-)