Ravyn (Acrostic-Tanka)
by Maple Tree Mar 24, 2013
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Rainbows whisper grace |
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Latest Comments
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11 years agoby safiya
A very well- thought out poem. Very significant and sweet
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11 years ago
Beautiful tribute to your newest generation. I hope Ravyn inherits your talent for poetry. She will certainly have a lot to inspire her.
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11 years ago
by Hellon
Well congratulations on your new arrival and...I must say, what a beuatiful name that's been chosen for this precious little bundle.
I hope you will save this poem and give it to her when she's old enough to appreciate your words of welcome!
I like how you have combined two forms into one for this special young lady...all I will question (and this is a question because I'm honestly not sure) shouldn't a tanka be of one thought and, yes it is one thought but you interupt it with periods and commas...my eye strayed to them slightly but....I'm not a lover of puntuation at the best of times so...maybe just me...didn't spoil my enjoyment in reading this...Lovely..and Congrats again!-
11 years ago
by Maple Tree
Awwwww thank you everyone for your lovely comments!
Hellon~ Ravyn took all night Friday and all day Saturday to come into this world, and so I wrote this a few hours after her birth... giggles, you are correct, I shouldn't have punctuation in the tanka... thank you so much for pointing this out. I actually am framing this with a picture I took of her on skype... to hang on her wall in her room.. Now I have 2 grandsons and a sweet granddaughter, Ravyn Anne-Marie :-)
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11 years ago
by Tara Kay
This is lovely Andrea,
The name is beautiful, and so is she :)
This piece holds a mountain of love within each line, it was warm and shows how much she means to you already.
Congratulations on the new arrival, :)
xxxx -
11 years ago
Rainbows whisper grace
^^
I love this opening line, you have used your words to paint a canvas of vibrant colours and emotions of peace and harmony filled with a positive emphasis. Whisper and grace flow well and construct a beautiful image.
As your sweet presence shines bright.
^^
This line builds more of the character background and identifies the persons aura and the effect it has on you. This allows the reader to share in the essence although they are not physically there with I find is a every effect technique.
Vibrant stars glisten
^^
I love the link to nature and the feelings behind this also contribute to this atmosphere of peace and serenity.
Yawning to the moon above,
Nesting in the clouds.
^^
Amazing way to conclude this peace leaving a soft feeling to remain beyond the words.
This poem is well crafted!
Thanks for sharing and congratulations on your beautiful new granddaughter :)
5.5 from me
