WORLD FULL OF HATRED

Since I was kid I witnessed my own death no stress end up in a ally seen my last breath mentally I'm lost in my heart I'm feeling hopeless I'm my own murderer closer i get to myself speeds up the process I always think people are different but they soon become just like the rest put them to the test but but they all failed I just wanna get away from the pressure & pain but everyday it's the same lames everyday my hate for humanity increases the slightest pain I go through is somebody's pleasure and being lonely isn't even the worst feeling the worst feeling is being forgotten by someone you'll never forget it hurts I'm fighting to get you outta my head but I'm holding on to every thing you ever said I'm standing looking into the mirror but I don't know what I see do you hear me lord listening to my plea I'm not worthy of your ears I bet you find it kinda funny that I'm obeying, praying and praying for you to lead the way to clarity momma always told me you'd be there for me and that your always listening but why do I only come to you when I need something and not return until I need something else my selfishness is taking over my soul but if you saw everything i would become why did you put it upon yourself to put my up on this heavenly earth knowing that I'd be a homosexual but according to your word loving a woman is wrong an of its true then if loving a woman is wrong then hell is where I'll go because facing the world alone is hell within itself