I have never had to say goodbye to anyone and know it was forever. to know that you were not dead but just removed from my life.
And as i lay here tonight in my bed watching my phone. Praying to god that your name will light up my phone.
But knowing that will never happen again is like a i have never known. Because missing you hurts but letting you go would be a damn suicide.
And i feel like you were my own personal drug my own addiction. because when i miss you it physicaly hurts. i feel like i might actually die of a broken heart sometimes.
And i lay here with "just give me a reason" by p¡nk on repeat. one line playing over and over "just give me a reason just a little bits enough just a second we're not broken just bent and we could learn to love again". And when that song ends i listen to "break even" by the script one line on repeat "and when a heart breaka it dont break even (no) and what am i supposed to do when the best part of me was always you". this is me this is what i can put my emotions into now. this is all i can sum myself up to be. i really dont know what the heck to do cuz you were the best parts of me you were my heart and you were my conscience. and i don't have those anymore. and i want a freaking reason as to why you left me like i was nothing but a dog on the sidewalk.
I am just laying here thinking of stuff you would tell me about my life now. i know you would be angry with me for what i am doing again. but both your "fishies" are doing it together. and your brother knows talk about a stab in the back. but yeah this is how you cause me to spen my nights now on the edge of a emotional meltdown.
