Chasmless

Maryanne,
What struck me about this wasn't that it was raw and deep, or that it was written in under five minutes, but the fact that the questions asked were deep and unassuming, there were some really thought provoking lines that stood out.

I voted on this earlier but was in a rush to go to work so couldn't give it the comment it deserved, but now I can and I will.

Because we are all lost among a battlefield
of identities that aren't fighting for us to be realigned
with them-

^^I felt this was really strong in saying that we change and we aren't always happy with who we are but our true selves aren't what we want to be either at times.

Some will become cannons in this battlefield,
wanting to be used for the end,
but some, will want to rise from the ground
and grow...

^^^The part that we often fail to understand is that we have to make the changes, we have to let ourselves be heard because no one will do it for us, we must fight to make our opinions heard, we must spread our own wings and let ourselves find freedom, because it cannot find us if we are hiding from what we need to be and need to do.

The whole poem seemed like a compact jumble of thoughts and questions but really on the ending it all made sense, it was like a array of understanding, a basket of all the things we've thought but not been able to express, things we've wanted to say but not found the words to do so.

You penned a really great piece, full of so much thought and wonder but still totally captivating and powerful.

x

Your opening stanza immediately made me think of what is going on in the news right now with same sex marriage & the constitution, which I know is not your intent of the poem, but it's definitely what I first thought of, because it's one of those freedoms that are skewed, not all are able to be happily married with the one they love because of what the law says, which is sad, I wish everyone was truly treated equally and able to love whomever they wish. Love the usage of chasm, it goes absolutely perfectly with what you're saying here.

What is the true difference between waking up and living?
I'm not too sure if this is a dream or this is a section of reality.
Why can't I fight back? Why is the color of the world I see
grey, and sunlight seems too perfect to be a savior
for our ghost-ridden world.
^I was going to highlight just a little section of this, but the entire thing is so powerful. The thought provoking questions, wow. I too love these sort of poems which are a pure release of what is on our mind at the moment. This again reminded me of the same sex marriage deal, I feel like you can take any little issue in the world and connect it with this poem. Anyways, I see the 'why can't I fight back' as a true questioning as to why some freedoms aren't completely freedoms. Like in the same sex marriage, why can't those who chose to love someone of the same sex have a say in this? It makes one think that freedom of speech doesn't even mean anything, like their voice has no power. There are always so many things in life that make you wonder if you are really living in reality or living a dream.

The end of the poem shows someone maturing into someone who has a voice, who will make a difference in the world, and no longer be unheard. Because after all, everyone has an opinion & our opinion should always matter.

This poem is very powerful. Clearly very thought provoking. Sometime these are indeed the best pieces, they have such real emotion in them. I can tell this piece came from your heart. Very well done.

Gracious, what have we here!?

Writes like these are just gorgeous if you ask me...just taking a quick moment to write about whatever comes to your head!

Absolutely loved the questioning in here Maryanne....a battlefield of thoughts we all go through, especially around the age you are....I have questioned many a time, whats my purpose? Am I living? What does it take to wake me up?....

I think it comes down to passions...God wants us happy....Find what you are passionate about and chase it, I think our purpose lies there somewhere...waking up, well, trust me when I say the difference between waking up and living is: waking up means you weren't fully aware of your choices and then something made you snap out of it and realize this...living means you've already moved on and forgiven your past choices and youre accepting the choices you're making in the present, and trusting them in the future...

my idea anyway...

I just think that these questions are normal, and that you shouldn't take them lightly...finding out who you are and what you want to be is important.....this may have been a 5 minute write, but it deserves more than 5 minutes to ponder all this...

I related to this piece a lot girl...its so deep and I feel you used metaphors to hide how you really felt, which was confusion in some aspects, but dont let bad days make you have a bad life...one of worry, and frustration....Plan out your choices, your goals, your success, and slowly start to reach them...then these questions will be answered.

Wonderful write girl!

Under five minutes?! Holy crap!

I adore those opening lines, I read them a couple of times and they made me sit back and think how true that statement is..we all want to be free, but are we really? It made me think on how so many people fight inner demons or silent battles and no-one knows, and they just continue with their own monsters and negative thoughts, and in reality that -isn't- being free.

At least, not to me, because I believe being free means...just to be happy. Something to easy to say and hope for but so difficult to achieve for so many people.

"too tired to let our expressions
heal others,"

I think this just became my favourite line of yours that you have written after "Live so I may defy." I just love, love, love this.

It makes me reflect on how when we ourselves are having a bad day, often we unintentionally take it out on others, when there really isn't a need to do so, and it makes me think maybe everyone should be just a little bit nicer to each other.

"What is the true difference between waking up and living?"

^^existing and living :) That's the first thing I thought of when I read this line...because the difference is the same...you can wake up and go about your day as usual...or you can wake up and truly live your life.

"Face stretching, sunken skin"...ohhh the imagery! Such fantastic visuals for me in so little words. It makes me picture you as tired, exhausted, that you're starting to have enough of pain and maybe even life because you're tired of hiding and not living as you should.

Closing-Just wonderful! I found much of this poem to be very melancholic at times and within those last two lines you manage to turn it into something positive, into hope, into wanting to start living as you should.

I so love this, this has made me think and reflect on so many things!