Wild Dandelion

[Weekly Contest Comment: 4/1/13]

Great flexibility with the format of this piece, I liked the thought of dreams hanging because it's so easy to picture and imagine the plethora of dreams we can't even place as to what they are....my only suggestion is to watch the cliches, I think writing "down" in a horizontal line has been done many times before on this site. Otherwise, wonderful word choice... "a celestial canvas" like this woman's dreams are painted in heaven or are of some supernatural force. Loved "gossamer moon", lovely! I also enjoyed the ending, especially the last stanza, as if this woman/girl is scraping for one more reason to live and to dream. Good read.

First off, I really like the way you have penned this!

Scampering in shambles,
she, a wild dandelion,
swaying

A
...L
....O
.....N
......G

the sands of time.

^^Such a nice opening here. It creates a magical mood and image of a graceful fairy swaying gently no matter what the weather is.

Innumerable dreams

H........N

.....A ..... G

D
O
W
N

^^Innumerable dreams hanging down I like the description here of the petals. Just like a dream they hang on until it all goes away. Lovely description!

Yet they escape,
her desperate grasps
like argent reflection
of gossamer moon.

^^I like this stanza. It paints to the reader how delicate the dandelion is and at the same time a eye catching image just like a moon. Maybe my interpretation is wrong but that is what I felt here...very nice :)

All in all a read which I think can be related to humans too. We are delicate at one stage or the other and when the time comes we learn to let go rather then hold onto...a good message.

I like this. Thanks for the read.

I like this. Thanks for the read.