I should have hung that paper on the wall

Wonderfully Penned Karla, Congratulations!!!

His baggage is heavier than mine
and the spirits of the place can't understand
the voice hidden in his pockets
full of biological terms and bookish dreams
anymore
as if there should be a plausible explanation
for everything in life.

^This is my favorite stanza in the poem. I love the vivid image and depth you describe of this man, with a simple (well not necessarily simple, I just mean simple in general as in short and sweet) stanza. "The voice hidden in his pockets", I really appreciate this term, it's a great metaphor.

We sat down to eat our lunch, trying
to reconstruct meaning out of simple things,
swallowing reality because there is nothing
left to say between noon and one pm
when we don't have to set examples.
(who said I wanted to be an example)

^It seems like all of us do this in ways and make things a whole lot more complicated than they really are or should be. I like how you ad the line in parentheses and again at the end, it feels like it's getting inside your thoughts beyond the words of the poem itself.

And as time flies, I blame fate again
for my choices and twenty-four years
of regrets and rebelliousness because
it is what still brings me some relief
after the tender comprehension
of life.

^This stanza is kind of hard (for me) to read, as it feels like a run on. Like if you were to add some punctuation in and maybe make it into a couple sentences rather than one, it may become more appealing to the tongue. Just an opinion though as everyone reads things differently.

He doesn't know but I have been dying slowly
all these years. I won't tell him about what
he has to find by himself. He has just started,
I'm about to finish. I might miss this room,
these faces, this past but I will miss my ideals
the most, especially those which still punch me
in the eye when I stumble upon the system.

^"He doesn't know but I have been dying slowly all these years.", there's so much power behind this one sentence, same with many throughout this entire poem. I feel a connection with this stanza, and the thoughts of letting go.

I look at my watch and I am ready again.
Who wants to be taught in an incomprehensible grey world?
Who wants to become a conscious citizen?

^I too, feel like the persona may be suicidal. But at the same time the last stanza makes me think slightly differently, I feel like you could be ready for a change, to give up something that you've held tightly for so long and your time has run out on it. (like being proper or professional or pretending to be someone who you aren't, etc.)

I should have hung that paper on the wall
just to remind me once of whom I was.
(who I was?)

^I feel like this too, is metaphorical but it's definitely over my head. This entire poem is brilliant, I'm sure I probably misinterpreted it (I apologize). I would love to know the meaning behind it though. It's a well deserved win.

[Weekly contest comment: 4/1/13]

The depth in this piece got to me. I enjoyed reading about how the poet talked about this unnamed "he", and it interests me because of the notion of meeting strangers yet never knowing what burdens they carry. It makes me believe the spirit of this boy or man has been crushed, like his dreams and written down explanations just can't ever explain the realities of life. I like the almost matter-of-fact tone when the poet speaks of eating lunch together, portraying that feeling of giving up, that it's senseless to think about meanings and how uncomplicated they can be anymore. I don't know if philosophical is the word I'm looking for or not, I just find that the poet delves into one's soul, one's inner thoughts. I liked the whole maybe cycle of life the poet is pointing at with "I won't tell him about what he has to find by himself. He has just started. I'm about to finish", we have to claim our own sufferings and face them. The meaning at the end is very ambiguous to me, at first I'm thinking you are choosing to opt out of the remaining years of your life, but then I'm thinking maybe you are looking for isolation, for no more interaction. And this man is just entering the world as an adult, finding himself and losing himself all over again....Fascinating write mixed with loss, melancholy moments, and self-reflection.

"To me, the persona seems a bit lost in thought, while eating lunch with someone that might be a colleague, someone inexperienced, someone who's just stepped into society. She seems observant, perhaps seeing the same eagerness of this man in her past, back when she was an eager new citizen to the world. I find it intriguing how the two seem so different, both in spirit and view of the world. Truth be told, this piece seems to touch on so many subjects at once that it's hard to interpret its meaning, but if one just follows its scenery, there seems to be such deep melancholy seeping through each and every word, perhaps a hint of skepticism too (as if the person doesn't believe in her past ideals anymore, doesn't feel there's hope). I can imagine the persona being stoic on the outside, as is reflected in the poem's language (quite cold and realistic), whilst too many thoughts are racing through her mind. The questions that the writer included really suck the reader even deeper into the poem. Along with the ending, it seems that the poem was an act of self-reflection. I'm still a bit puzzled about the meaning of this "paper on the wall", though, would've liked more hints regarding that image, but still liked the ending. Must say that the very last line reads a little bit awkward, though. Perhaps change it to "Who was I?"? Anyway, a very intelligent write."

[Weekly Contest 1-4-2013]

I know this poem holds much more than meets the eye Karla...but try as I may I cannot decipher the meaning inside this piece. I wont even pretend to understand it. You are a complex and unique poet- never change that. enjoyed this piece from you :)