Willie

Willie
By Mark Spencer

Every dog in the neighborhood
Knew Willie was the king.
A proud and mighty rottweiler,
It was a canine thing.

And Willie was a randy dog,
Libido ruled his soul.
He'd hump your leg, perhaps a tree,
Or a telephone pole.

And all the dogs were scared of him,
They knew what he would do.
He'd mounted every one of them,
At least a time or two.

But there was one dog on the block,
That Willie hadn't bagged.
Though that dog never left his porch,
Tonight he will get shagged.

So Willie carefully approached,
As quiet as he could.
But his prey never moved an inch
From the spot where he stood.

And that's where Willie mounted him,
On that cold winter night.
It is where he'd be discovered,
When came the morning light.

The dog that Willie chose to mount
Was karma in disguise.
It was just a copper statue,
Which came as a surprise.

For temperatures had dipped that night,
And the copper got cold,
And this made Willie's willy stick,
A bond certain to hold.

And when the sun came up that day,
Poor Willie was exposed.
The sight made other doggies howl,
At how Willie was posed.

And when his rescuers arrived,
And set old Willie free,
The dog would never be the same,
He couldn't even pee.

He'd never hump another leg,
Or shag another stray.
The neighborhood was overjoyed,
At what was learned that day.

And the way this king was conquered,
May sound kind of silly.
But shouldn't all dogs think before
Whipping out their willy?