Comments : DOA

  • 11 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    Does DOA mean dead on arrival? I haven't seen/heard it used before but I just looked it up...Jenni, this was such an emotional piece, I can't possibly say everything that made me saddened, I do want to write some of my thoughts though. The opening question grabbed me right away and kind of choked me up- because I believe it to be true. I think, even though when we cry we obviously don't cry with blood streaming down, somehow we bleed....whether it be an emotion, a suffering, a pain, a trouble, we release something. And often it's unseen, that's the most heartbreaking part. It can easily be hidden, swiped away or just overlooked. I really can relate to the "I'm fine", and I think you penned that stanza perfectly talking about how often those two words are head and then accepted. It's truly amazing when someone is able to tell something's wrong even if you don't admit it yourself, sometimes you want someone to say it for you, that's you're not okay.

    Gosh, the way you tied the paramedics and doctors to the wound that keeps growing and needs stitching yet is being ignored, it's very deep. Like accusations are made, and people keep telling you to get your feet back on the ground, it's really simple, but somehow you can't that quick. It makes me think you know how there's certain people who always look on the bright side? And how that's wonderful and everything but sometimes you don't believe what they say is true for you....maybe it's too complicated or too easily thrown into a category where everyone can get back up. We need help though. Then, how you spoke just with the one line about someone leaving, well that leaves a hole. If this person has made a small or big impact, is a relative or someone more intimate, it makes a difference.

    A very real, heart-breaking write filled with emotions that are just brimming with rawness. I hope more people notice the pain, shown or not shown. Because not everyone will let you fall, or let you be unnoticed.

  • 11 years ago

    by Pain

    It's just so so, beautiful. Keep writing!