How silly must I seem to you
A younger girl who
Always texts back right away
And clutches her phone
In her right hand
Waiting for it to
Say your name
With a few words.
How empty-headed
It must be
For me to desire your
Attention and
Love.
How stupid I must seem
At times
When I blush and grin
My stupid, love-sick smile
In your direction,
Too overwhelmed by your presence
To think straight.
But I'm going to let you in
On a little secret,
One that has been biting and clawing at me
For a few
Months now:
I like you.
It's not the kind of
Like that goes away quickly,
This is the kind of like
That churns and boils
Growing stronger and stronger,
Larger and larger
Every day.
It's the kind of like
That lets you know
That your heart
Is no longer your own
But belongs to someone else;
In their step,
Their stride,
Their breath,
And their smile.
One day,
You asked me what I wanted -
Your text was gray
And mine was green -
And I said "hmm? What are you talking about?"
It took a few moments for
You to respond,
But the thoughts raced
Through my head,
Flooding me with anticipation.
In gray and black letters,
It read, "You no what i mean."
I didn't know what you meant
So I responded with
A small smiley face
That wasn't happy at all.
You love her
And I love you.
I know of
Your story
And how much you want her.
Her, she who is perfect;
Her, she who is amazing;
Her, she who is the most special girl;
Her, she who is witty;
Her, the one I've always been jealous of.
Before I met you,
I was already molted
Green with envy.
Even viewing from my eyes,
She was perfect:
Too intelligent,
Too outgoing,
Too amazing,
And too awesome
For one person.
But now my envy is a sort of
Hatred,
A plague,
In a way.
In consumes me,
Eating away at me,
Tearing me from limb from limb,
Each thought making me a little
Less nice and a little
More bitter.
Love isn't served to us on
A gold platter -
We both know that.
But even a hint,
One that is good or bad,
Would be nice to go on.
I'm not asking for you
To hold my hand
And frolic in a meadow of flowers,
I'm just asking for a small hint,
Even a tiny nod or shake of the head
That tells me yes or no.
While I would prefer it to be the
Former,
Even the latter
Would work
Because I desire, I yearn
For a hint;
If it's a bad result,
Then I got what I wanted
And maybe one day,
You'll get what you want;
Because one day
We'll both be happy
With our endings
And loves,
Whomever that may be,
But for now,
The man in my head,
Who is beside me,
Is you.
