Comments : Lost at sea

  • 11 years ago

    by Meena Krish

    Orange and yellow painted the sky
    Birds flew on, and days went by

    ^^I like the opening of an orange yellow sky whilst the birds fly across the sky. A nice painting of nature's beauty!

    Walking in the sand I leave my marks
    That vanish with the waves, and you with my heart

    ^^This is such an interesting end. I can imagine your footprints vanishing from the sand but love is such it leaves a lasting impression within one's heart and can never be erased.

    In just a short verse there is beauty and sadness all wrapped up in one...nice write.

  • 11 years ago

    by L

    Orange and yellow painted the sky
    Birds flew on, and days went by
    Walking in the sand I leave my marks
    That vanish with the waves, and you with my heart

    ^^ this was a great way of giving imagery. To create an image to the reader and describe how the sky was.. I imagined a sunset and this someone walking on the sand but sadly the narrator fell in love but seems to be an unrequited love, so only the footprints on the sand can be erase but the love in the heart of the narrator perseveres.