Diner at 4am

[Judging comment from week of 4/08/13]:

I feel there could be so much said about this piece, but I can't do it justice in expressing such a vivid, lively poem. From reading this, I am inspired to write more brevity myself and not take for granted the power it can instill in the reader just by showing them something and not necessarily explaining it... I think it's wonderful when a long poem gives off emotion and imagery and an author can openly give each detail, but sometimes I feel when there's an underlying meaning, I am more curious at the end. Almost like there is a cliff-hanger. I only get a sneak peak of what is making the author tick, so maybe I can infer his situation.

I loved this one scene I had stuck in my head of the diner though. Truthfully I don't go to diners often, maybe once a year, and it gives off more spirit stating that's what it is. The yearning of this poet to acquire more space, go into orbit itself makes me think he desires to have a clean cut distance from this person, from remembering...there's also at the end just a strong feeling of exhaustion coursing through the author, as if in losing time, he has also lost a part of himself. A write that stands alone and can be read again with even more fascination and admiration. I believe the author gives nothing but himself for his poetry, and shares a uniqueness that he really owns through his writing. Fantastic!

Sorry, double post...

Colm this is an incredible poem! Britt is a hundred percent correct with the truth of how much expression and imagery you put into this piece of brevity...the title is unique, as when I imagine a diner, it's not at 4 in the morning, so you gave a great specific. I just adored the opening line, how direct it was yet how there was a trace of longing, longing for more time, space, ability to maybe be with this person one on one to talk to...it kind of seemed to me maybe this person is one who your heart can never have, because you want it erased that this person is stuck in this time, in this situation....hmm just my thoughts though. I really feel I "dove" into this poem because there was a lot to take in and it was a bit abstract- plus the challenge in the contest can't be forgotten, and I not only enjoy poets who dedicate themselves to writing in brevity, but I also admire them. The space references along with the rocket were neat, and I loved loved loved the way you used harbored here! That's one of my favorite words to use when reading and I also treasure it when writing. Amazing work =)

I really like the title you ended up giving this poem... I think this was originally the untitled one, yeah?

You were spot on in this contest. You really pack so many images and feelings in just a small space and still have it have so much impact. I really adore this poem!